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It's been so long since I've left an entry and to be honest I'm not sure why I'm taking the time to write anything right now. I guess I realize a lot of things are different. Even the girl in my icon is different than the girl that sits here now. I'm sitting on the couch with my mom now while she watches the Super Bowl. I really love my family.

I've done some stupid things this past year. I'm talking really stupid. Went through a bunch of meaningless boys that messed with my emotions. Lost one of my best friends on account of something I should have never done. Went through another phase of depression. But now I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. I finally gave my life completely to God and I find that everything is a lot more peaceful.

I'm in college now. Liberty University. Even though I live five minutes away from the school, I live on campus. I love my roommates so much. Abigail is from Atlanta, Georgia an Allison is from Rocky Mount, North Carolina (we're the Triple A room.) We just get along so great. I've met so many great, Christian people that have really helped me in my own faith. That was definitely hard to find in my usual public school setting.

I have a boyfriend now. His name is Mark. He's a year younger than me. He's one of eight kids and he's been homeschooled his whole life. Haha. So sweet. He's never had a girlfriend before me and I just like that so much. There's no games when it comes to him and for once in my life I trust someone of the opposite sex.

Anyway, that's my life right now. I don't know when or if I'll update again. But I miss the old days with you guys.

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Ugh. I need to change that userpic of mine. That was a year ago! Say what?

I'm back from the beach unfortunately. I already miss it. And last weekend was my dance recital. Technically my last since I will probably never take that many classes again. Graduation was the weekend before. Graduation was surprisingly very not emotional for me. I don't know. I guess I wanted to get out of there more than I thought. However, I did cry at the dance recital. I love dance. Oh, and no more piano lessons... Honestly, thank GOD! I've been taking a long hiatus from it, however I've been getting back into it a little bit. Playing Beatles songs, though. :)Oh yeah, I'll have to tell you about Graduation night.

I'm sorry that this is coming out in random thoughts. There's a lot that I wish I could tell you about this year, but I don't know if I should. I don't know if anybody is even reading my journal anymore. Haha. Oh well. I would like to use it more, however.

Oh! I graduated as an honor graduate. Random thought, but I'm proud of that. Especially since I totally Senioritis-ed my way through that last bit.

The beach was very amazing. Much better than last year. I don't know why, but it just was.

I'm attempting to get a tan this summer. If you know how white I am, you know that this will be harder than it should be. Haha. I've been laying out pretty much everyday for like an hour. And today I went to the pool with Alyssa for like... five hours and I'm so sunburnt. It's painful. But sunburn = tan, right?

Oh my God. I can't even finish this entry now because this guy that I know just pissed me off. I'll update later hopefully.

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I'm officially a high school graduate now! Haha. I'm actually at the beach now updating from my new iPod touch. :) I miss livejournal as usual.

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Ohhhh my goodness. I am... I don't know. Stressed. Very very stressed. And it's been that way since my last entry 9 freaking weeks ago.

I had my AP Government exam last Monday and AP English exam on Thursday. Then I have AP Phsyics tomorrow and AP Psychology on Tuesday and then Guild Auditions for piano on Wednesday. Quite honestly, I've worked harder on piano than I have for school because I can't bs my way through piano. I've had to memorize seven pieces. And holy crap I need to work on my musicianship phases tonight. I will be soooo glad when piano is done with. I'm on the verge of hating it now. I really loved it at one time. Oh yeah, the piano recital is on Friday. GOD.

My graduation will be on June 13th. That's pretty close! I'm excited but at the same time, I'm going to miss some of these people that I probably won't see much. Like Josh and Sam. They've been good friends this year. Josh is going to college in North Carolina and Sam is joining the Air Force. :(

And I have a somewhat boyfriend. Haha. Matthew has been my best guy friend since forever and things have just changed for us. He asked me a week or so ago if I would be his girlfriend, but I was like ohmygosh I'm so stressed right now. So, we'll see what happens. He's going to be be four hours away next year. :(

So, I went to Disney World during my spring break. That was funfunfun! It was me and my mom and my sister and my two nieces. I got sick while I was down there, though. :/ I love Disney World! I think that at some point in my life that I want to do the Disney College Program where you work at Disney World for a semester. How fun would that be!? And I talked to my dance teacher Lanette and she said that she might be able to talk to this lady she knows that's in charge of staging down there... A dancer in Disney World would be beyond amazing.

And then there was prom! Prom was really no big thing last year. Like, I kind of hated it. And this year was such an improvement! Matthew asked me to the prom, but by that point me and my girlfriends decided we were going to be dateless because that's what's up. This other weird creepy guy also asked me and I said no. I loved my dress! And it didn't rain this year. The people in my group were awesome. Dinner was great! And we all danced this year. It was just so much fun. After prom was kind of the same as last year, but Matthew was there. :)

I've been working hard in dance too. The dances are getting there, but we still have a lot of work to do. The recitals are June 19th and 20th, so that gives us little over a month. I'm sad, though, because my bff Sarah got really caught up in school this year and wasn't able to come to class much, so she decided to not be in the recital at all. :(

Speaking of, I went to Sarah's house last night! It was tres fun as it always is when we're together. We watched JONAS (this show is a lot better than I expected!) and parts of movies and then we decided at 1:30 in the morning that we wanted to go to McDonald's. So, we did. And there was this car behind us at the drive-thru and they turned the music up really loud and this girl got out and started dropping it like it's hot. It was really really funny. The drive-thru lady looked out the window and was like "Crazy fools..." I stayed at her house until 3:30 and then came home and passed out.

Senior awards are this Thursday! I'm excited for that. Then there's Senior day and the Busch Gardens field trip. There are things to look forward to. I can't wait. :)

Ahhhh. Ok. Let me go do some more of this crap. I miss lj. Hi guys. :)

P.S. Ohhhh yeah! This summer I'm going to see two Jonas Brothers concerts, the American Idol concert, and a festival in New Jersey where Coldplay is the headliner! I'm super excited!

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Whoa. 8 weeks since I last updated? Yikes.

I'm 18 now. I feel like I've changed. Not since turning 18, but just this school year in general. I'd go into details, but I don't know. It's not necessarily for the better... I've done some stupid things.

I need a good song for this video I'm going to make for Jenny. Just a song about friendship.

I've been using Crest White Strips. They work! You should try them if you're interested. It's suppose to last for 18 months. That's quite a long time.

I found this necklace the other day that my dad gave me in like 6th grade. It's beautiful. I love it and I'm going to start wearing it more often.

I want a haircut so freaking bad! But I'm not going to but it because I know that I need to let it grow for the dance recital. But the more I look at it, the more I want to just chop it all off. It's funny because this time last year I had crazy long hair and I didn't want to get it cut. I realize now what a hassle long hair is.

Yesterday and today were snow days. So so wonderful. I wish the rest of this year until June 13th would be a snow day.

Dance songs!
Tap - was going to be Headstrong by the Vitamin String Quartet, but we're going to look for another song by them with a slower tempo... I still need to make a CD for that.
Jazz - Pink Panther (this is going to be so cute! I'm a detective.)
Ballet (Wed) - The Snow is Dancing by Debussy (This is in my piano book...)
Ballet (Thurs) - I actually don't know the name of this song...
Pointe - Ugh... As many times as Mrs. Sanders has told us the story, I should know the title of this song. We're muses, though.
Solo - Bella's Lullaby by Carter Burwell (this is in Twilight... which most people know that I think is stupid, but this song is really pretty--you should listen to it.)

Piano is killing me. I have Gold Cup Festival this Saturday. I just barely have one of the pieces memorized. I can't even get a gold cup this year, so I don't know what the point is.

I've moved up to number 25 in my class. Woo hoo. Still an overachiever at heart while everyone else slinks into senioritis. Funny thing is, is that I've known where I'm going to college for a long time now. I really haven't needed to try, yet I still do.

I have a prom dress now! It's soooo pretty. Jenny ordered two dresses and she picked the one she liked best and then she said that I should try on the other dress and I did and we love it!

Tell me what you think. :)

I saw the 3D Jonas Brothers movie on Friday night! Sarah and I almost got to actual concert hysteria, but nothing will ever exceed that. It was a great night.

Now something I stole from swannishs_epee

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It's nice to be relaxing. Sunday morning, my mom, Tori, Marcy, Skylar, and I went to North Carolina to see my brother, Stephanie, and the kids. It was really hectic. But it was nice to get away and there were a lot of random, funny moments.

-Tori and I both noticing how Skylar was so freaking loud on the way down there, but neither of us had the strength to say anything. And when all of this was happening, "You Talk Too Much" by Run-DMC was playing in my iPod.
-Walking across the parking lot with Skylar at Wendy's and her saying "You just stepped in oil." Everything was slippery inside. Then when we were leaving, I said to Tori "I stepped in oil on the way in." And she said "How did you know you stepped in oil?" And I said "Skylar told me..."
-My mom saying "I think there's view of a field on this side" when we got into the hotel. When we opened the curtain, it was someone's backyard.
-At Zach and Stephanie's house, Tori got a glass of tea. I said I was going to go out to the van to get a bottle of water and Tori came with me. Tori poured her glass of tea in the bushes and poured a can of Coke from the cooler into the glass instead.
-Tori sitting in the armchair and me sitting on the couch while I text her to look at the golden retriever angel they have on top of their tree. Hahaha.
-Marcy telling me to add something to my memoir and Skylar saying "Memoir. That's Spanish for memory."
-Tori had put her cell phone in my bag and I had my camera in there as well. I had my phone in my hand and I went to get my camera out, but pulled Tori's phone out instead and had two identical phones in my hands and I was so confused for a break moment. I said "What... the heck?" Tori saw what I was thinking and she started to crack up at me.
-My mom, Tori, and I watching the Elmo my mom got Davis and Allison as it was telling a story. Everyone else was somewhere else for some reason. Elmo is supposed to have a little stool with him, but it wasn't there at the time and he went to cross his leg over his knee and fell over and just sort of opened his mouth and laid there. I looked at my mom and Tori who both had "wtf?" looks on their faces and I just cracked up.
-Most moments when Stephanie, Mama, Tori, and I were playing Taboo.
-When Tori was typing things on my cell phone late at night and typed "I.Marcy my name is NAPKINSPI :) BRING ME TO YOUR PLANET." and "E.hugsy is my pic. Partner in crime buddy. You can.t imb elf this. Th4r right." I almost peed in my pants.

Jenny and I saw Eagle Eye last night and then I spent the night at her house. We watched Moulin Rouge. I had never seen it before. I really liked it. :)

Now I'm going to get some things done that I've been meaning to get done. Yay.

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Long time, no see. It's been more than a month! And what a crazy month it has been.

I made it through the visitation and funeral, as well as the rest of Thanksgiving Break. I just felt weird most of the time. I'm so glad my family was there. Being with them made everything seem ok. Especially Tori. We got close through this situation, I think. Granny is by herself now. My sister, Tori, and Skylar are going to move into the house next door to her so they can take care of her and everything. My Grandaddy hasn't written a will, so now everything with that is all messed up because so-and-so wants this, but whatsherface also wants it too. I don't want anything of his. Just little things that meant something to me, but not a car or anything. It's not that big of a deal. :/

We celebrated Thanksgiving at our house this year because it would've been weird to have it at Granny and Grandaddy's house. It was a lot of fun. I love Davis and Allison so very much. I'm pretty sure we're going to have Christmas here too.

I also got involved with a jerk. Glad that's over with.

I've been SO tired. So so so tired. And it's because I've had to stay up until 2 or 3 every morning trying to get my homework done. All I think about these days is sleeping. I've been doing homework-type things since break has started, but now that Christmas is here... forget it. I don't care if I've finished it or not. I'm not doing anything else.

We just read Heart of Darkness in English. It was ridiculous. We were all like "..." through the whole thing. Ms. Wright really is an awful teacher. We have to read part of The Awakening over break. I actually read it. No help from Spark Notes. And I enjoyed it. I think she purposefully chose a girly book this time around. We needed it.

So, this is how break has gone so far...

Saturday: Christmas piano recital (bleh), new cell phone (LG... still feeling iffy about it; I miss my razr), shopping, and my mom getting sick so we had to come home early

Sunday: skipped church because mom had been up all night throwing up, Church Christmas party (we played dirty Santa and I got the exact penguin salt and pepper shakers that I saw at Target that I wanted), visited Sarah at her new job at Smoothie King

Monday: mom got sick again and had to miss work

Tuesday: I tossed and turned that night and woke up feeling weird... I thought it was my turn to start throwing up. I got out of bed and thought I would put up my hair just in case I did start all of that mess. When I finally got my hair up, I was really dizzy and I stumbled back a little bit and landed on my bed--my heart was racing, I couldn't breathe, and I broke out in a cold sweat. I thought I was having a heart attack or something. So, I ate some crackers and drank some sprite and that was about it for the whole day. I just laid on the couch and felt like crap the whole day. I also took a two hour nap and then I went to bed pretty early that night too. I don't know what was wrong with me.

Christmas Eve was good. I woke up and watched Miracle on 34th Street. Then I got dressed and watched the Duggar marathon on TLC. I love that family. :) Tori, Marcy, and Skylar came over at 6:00 and we had dinner and opened presents and then we celebrated Skylar's birthday (Christmas baby... bleh.) And now I'm here.

Some of my favorite things that I got are Run-DMC shirt and Beastie Boys shirt (matching with Sarah!), Wedding Dash (very fun game!), a beautiful picture made by Katie, Victoria Secret's perfume (from Mrs. Davis, my 3rd grade teacher), Johnny Cash CD, Michael Phelps book, a pop-up book about how to find flower faeries (it's so pretty!!), and a limited edition picture of A Hard Day's Night with actual film from the movie in it. So cool!

I mentioned Mrs. Davis a bit ago. I like being at the elementary school again. I love those kids. I've made a special little friend named Hellen. She's a sweet little Asian girl. I was walking in the hall with her the other day and she was like "Where are you going?" And I said "I have to go back to school." And I made a sad face. And she said "Nooooo." And I said "I know. Believe me. I'd rather be here with you than down there." And she said "When you go to college next year, can you still come to see us here?" And I said "I'll see what I can do." I would just love that. To be able to chill with kids for awhile. I also got to see a lot of my kindergarteners the last week because I was helping Mrs. Davis decorate in the cafeteria. Love them. :)

Well, I should've gone to bed like... hours ago. I was going to wash my hair and all that, but that didn't happen.

Thank you to those for showing concern in my time of need. I really appreciate it. I hope you're all doing well this holiday season. I read what you guys are saying, I just never get to comment all the time. Have a very merry Christmas! :)

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My Grandaddy passed away last night. Blah.

The visitation is on Tuesday. The funeral on Wednesday.

There must be something about November. Friday was my one year anniversary of the wreck.

I should be studying, but I can't focus.

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We gots a new president, yo. :)

I am disturbed by the people in my town, though. They are either very "conservative" or very "liberal." I guess I fall neatly in between. I would've been happy either way. I just want someone in the White House who will actually do something, you know? Anyway, tomorrow should be interesting. We can all go back to regular life, right?

It's fun to witness history, though. I will admit.

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